Healing the Womb After a Scary Birth

I have made the decision to actively heal from the trauma I have experienced in terms of birth, sexual assault, violence, and generational trauma.

I was recently talking to a close friend about how I want to have another baby but am concerned about my fertility. I have PCOS and I struggled with fertility with my first child. 17 months postpartum, my period still has not returned and I don't know whether it is linked to that, or simply because I am still frequently breastfeeding. But then she presented me with a third possibility, “Do you think you’ve created a mental block to your fertility because of your traumatic birth experience?” This set me off into a completely new way of thinking and interacting with my body and spirituality. I knew she was right. I also knew it was so much bigger than my fertility or baby fever. I’ve held so much trauma in my body throughout life and I know it affects me. So whether it is driving my fertility issues or not, it’s time to meet myself in this space to release the giant burden and tension from my body.

We can heal ourselves

After this realization, something instantly changed in me. I felt this undeniable pull to explore the inner workings of my heart and soul. I started meditating again. I started praying to the divine within myself, something I had never done, or even really considered before. I began asking and looking for signs and guidance. I began trying to relate to my ancestors and ancestral knowledge. I began connecting with and learning from as many women in my community as I could. I looked all around myself with gratitude and curiosity. And though I'm only just beginning on this strange and amazing path, I know that I am following something so important and I will never be the same again. I am on a path toward self healing and it is so powerful.

We probably know that all of us have some form of trauma to the womb space, whether it is due to birth trauma, pregnancy loss, sexual assault, abortion, generational trauma, or any other cause. But many of us may not know that we are fully capable of healing that space with our own sacred magic.

What is the womb space?

That said, we should probably answer the question ‘what is our womb space?’. Though womb is sometimes equated to a uterus, I do not see it that way. I see the womb as a powerful energetic space for creation, expression, and wisdom. The womb space is the gate between us and the universal consciousness, between life and death, a portal between worlds. It is sacred and divine. It should be nurtured and treated as such.

So, I invite you to join me in this journey toward healing.

Here are the steps in my personal plan:

1. I will give myself permission to let go.

   I will release my experiences through a full moon fire ritual where I will write them out and release them into the fire. Then I will continue to let them go, because the act of release is a cyclical process and does not happen only once.

2. I will create a new story

   using present tense, positive affirmations. I am in touch with the powerful and divine within me. I surrender to the universe. I trust my body to tell me what it needs. My body is as fertile as the Earth it belongs to. I will also write a new birth story to help me rise from my perspective of victimhood.

3. I will seek support and guidance from my ancestors, my community, and my spirituality.

   One way I plan to do this is through my new womb healing circle the second Friday of each month. This is an opportunity for us to come together and invite healing into our womb space. As a community, we are responsible for and capable of the healing we need. We are all healers whether we recognize it yet or not. If this is something that speaks to you, I invite you to join us at our next meeting. Take what you need and give what you can in this circle.

4. I will seek professional help in my healing journey.

   Beginning with hypnotherapy, since I have heard such great things about it. Hypnotherapy can help release subconscious traumas and return to a state of relaxation from the fight or flight stress response so many of us with trauma live in. I also want to use acupuncture and massage to facilitate bodily healing and fertility. I am especially excited about the Mayan uterine massage.

I have started a new spiritual journey with the intention of reconnecting with my soul. My ancestors. My rituals. My power. I have learned a lot so far and am growing happier and more connected by the day. I know this step toward healing is the very next thing I need to do.

Comment below to share your healing journey with me.

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