Doulas and Advocacy: I Will Not Keep My Mouth Shut
Nothing gets my blood boiling like the idea that doulas need to lie down and be quiet in front of OBs no matter what they witness. Something just doesn’t sit right with me about women continuing to be silenced in the birth room to appease the “powerful” and “knowledgeable professionals”. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate doctors. I know that they are necessary and actually I LOVE modern medicine when it is used to save peoples lives. But not when it is used to compensate for lack of skills, show off new technology, or replace the natural system of birth.
Obstetric violence is a huge problem today.
It comes sometimes in the form of physical violence and even rape, but more commonly in the form of coercion and fear mongering. And even if you don’t see it in your birthing room, you can see it in the huge and rising maternal death rate in this country, especially among black women (but that’s a post for another day) and the shocking cesarean rates (50% in my city). I think it’s become such a huge problem because of the hierarchy that is present in hospital systems. Hospitals would have you believe that in the birth room, the OB is on top. (S)he is the unquestionable expert in charge of the birth who will decide what needs to be done. Then there’s the nurses who are often very overworked and disrespected. Under the nurses is the mom who can make some choices here and there but ultimately she is the unwell one and birth will happen to her. And somewhere on the bottom is the doula who just holds the moms hand and tries not to get in the way.
I challenge you to think about it differently.
What if the mom is on top? She is the sole and autonomous decision maker in her own birth experience. She has all of the power she needs to birth her child and make decisions about her own health. What if the doula is not a part of the hierarchy at all? After all, you hired her as your support person, to walk with you through the birth experience. She is there to not only hold your hand and rub your back, but to speak up when she sees abuse happening.
You might think this sounds like common sense, but actually most doulas do the opposite. Did you know that doula certifying organizations teach their trainees that we should not advocate for our clients? That we should just sit back and try not to rock the boat. That if we speak out of line, the doctor won’t like us and might not want us to come back to the hospital. Well, I think that’s bullshit. I don’t work for the hospital. I work for you. I am not there to cater to the OB or keep the peace. I will never act unprofessionally, but
